Back to School

Imagine yourself as a UCLA student who walks into a class room and sits down next to what first appears to be an old man. Now imagine yourself as an observant UCLA student who walks into a class room and is surprised to find a three time Super Bowl winner.

Apparently, Troy Aikman is in your class.

Even after being inducted into the professional and collegiate football halls of fame, Aikman was not satisfied. So he took a page out of Rodney Dangerfield's book and went back to school. Luckily, he never had to do a Triple Lindy.

The school in question is UCLA and it happens to be the school he left twenty years ago. With all the confusion coming with the transfer from the University of Oklahoma and having to play football all the time, Aikman forgot to graduate. So, he reentered college at the beginning of the year with that very goal in mind.

Rick Neuheisel's goal is to find one more year of eligibility for Troy Aikman.

It took Aikman only two classes, one on ethnicity and another on aging, to earn a degree in sociology. Of course, at the age of 42, Aikman is UCLA's foremost expert on the subject of aging. Now with a degree, Aikman can finally go out and get a decent job. I'm sure Cris Collinsworth and Joe Buck will be envious.

Perhaps this will catch on a trend in the sports world. Underclassmen who bolted early for the NFL will return to the classroom. They will no longer need their full athletic scholarships to cover their tuition; their multimillion dollar salaries will do that. Knowshon Moreno and Matthew Stafford are no longer worried about their shaky futures with the knowledge that they can one day return to Athens and revive a degree in sports studies.

Perhaps this will even spread to other sports, like basketball. LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and Kevin Garnett will go back to high school to graduate with students twenty years their minors. It will be a great day for achedemia.

In related news, fellow quarterback Brett Farve has announced again that he will not be returning to the NFL. Southern Mississippi is anticipating to be contacted soon by Farve's agent.