Captain Crook

Piracy, like so many other things, is making a comeback into popular culture. However, these guys are not so jolly, and none of them happen to be named Roger.

It all started with the Johnny Depp film, Pirates of the Caribbean, and has since escalated to the capture of several international ships over the past week by Somalian pirates off of the African coast. This script does not have quite as pithy dialogue, but the ending should be less confusing.

There are no peg legs, eye patches, or talking parrots to be found amongst this bunch. Armed with heavy assault rifles, RPGs, semi-automatic pistols and bad attitudes, these Somali pirates have rewritten the stereotypical pirate image while maintaining the same old pirate role.

In other words, they have been a menace to the shipping and dentistry industries.

Most of these men were driven to the high seas because of the Somalian civil war and lack of job opportunities on the east African coast. Their recent string of hostile actions have merited a great deal of press and emotion from around the world. All these misunderstood pirates want is our attention and respect.

The capitol of Somalia is Mogadishu. I couldn't think of any other way to work that in, but I would be remiss if I didn't.

Piracy is illegal, but by their nature, pirates do not follow the law, so they have remained active despite anti-piracy legislation. Besides, pirates are no longer led to the gallows, so what is there to worry about, other than an extended stay at Guantanamo Bay prison? How's that for pirates of the Caribbean?

Approximately 14 ships have been attacked, captured, or looked at funny by Somalian pirates in the last month alone. Their recent productivity can only be traced back to the pirate's discovery of Red Bull. The most well-known of these seizures was of the Denmark-owned American-operated vessel, the Maersk Alabama.

The crew of 21 fought back the pirates using the cargo of bananas and rice. After the struggle, the pirates took the captain of the ship hostage and fled on one of the ship's life rafts. The captain repeatedly tried to escape by leaping overboard, but the pirates were repeatedly forced to rescued him, as he did not know how to swim.

During an extended stand-off with a US navy ship, the pirates demanded a ransom for the captain, to which the United States responded by having the pirates sniped by Navy Seals. Thus the captain of the Maersk Alabama was brought to safety, but the remaining pirates have since sworn revenge.

Escalation of the tension between the pirates and the international community is at its highest since the Barbary Wars in the early Nineteenth Century. This means that we can all look forward to continued mutiny on the high seas. American audiences expect a sequel, but one where the dead pirates do not spontaneously return into the plot.

I just wonder where the pirates expect to find any remaining buried treasure. Perhaps they could sell the movie rights.